Knowing what you deliver doesn’t mean knowing what the other person expects!

Sabine Kopp is bitterly disappointed. It felt as if Steinberger had punched her in the stomach. She wasn’t prepared for that. It came out of nowhere. Two days ago, Marlene Gruber, Steinberger’s line manager, had praised her for her work on the digital project. She said it had been exemplary. As a member of the management team, she should know. Mind you, she is also one of the best in the internal leadership talent program and received excellent ratings as a manager from her employees in the 360-degree feedback. And then comes the Steinberger “You didn’t quite meet my expectations”.

Confused, frustrated and demotivated, Sabine Kopp leaves the office two days before Christmas. What a great start to the vacations, she thinks to herself cynically. ‘Bravo Steinberger, you couldn’t have found a better time for a qualification interview! And I’ve always delivered. Always! I often worked until late in the evening so as not to miss a deadline. And I meant NONE! For the last 365 days. Without exception. What is this funny bird doing with unfulfilled expectations? ‘

The upcoming Christmas holidays with her family helped Sabine Kopp to digest the negative feelings. Neither boss-bashing nor victimization are in her nature. It would have been easy to find 1001 reasons why Steingruber is an idiot. After all, he is the boss and has never made his expectations clear.

But she is a constructive doer, thinks things through and starts with two questions:

• What expectations do I have of myself when working with Steingruber (my superior)?
• What expectations do I have of Steingruber (my line manager) when working with me?

She takes her time, lets the answers mature and brings them to the first bilateral meeting with Steingruber. He looks at her in surprise. Silence falls in the room. A few seconds pass, followed by a positive reaction. “Ms. Kopp, that’s a very well thought-out idea. I’ll ask myself the same two questions and we’ll have a quiet chat at the next BILA.”

Extra miles, flexibility, commitment, overtime and additional projects notwithstanding: knowing what you deliver doesn’t mean knowing what the other person expects. When is the best time to clear up any ambiguities? NOW!